Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense

I've always loved blogs, and having so many sweet friends and family members who live away from the coast, I thought that this would be the perfect way to keep those closest to me updated on my life and what the Lord is putting on my heart and in my adventure of His calling in my life. I'm not the most reliable when it comes to texting or messaging people back, and with my crazy busy schedule, I tend to not be near my phone to answer calls, so I figured this would be pretty perfect.

I'm very excited about what the Lord has in store for me this summer. Some doors have been closed, while new and exciting ones have been revealed. Right now, I'm asking Him for clarity and discernment concerning the difference between what is my will, and what is His. Being the minor control freak that I am, always wanting a set, in depth plan of action for just about everything; I tend to overspiritualize my decisions...I agonize over things such as, "Am I doing this because it's what I want, or do You want this?" "Am I in Your will right now, or am I making myself think that?"  I think sometimes I expect God to shout directions and I will automatically know exactly what to do and how to do it. But then, because of His grace that will forever astound me, He always brings me back to reality and humility...in one of my favorite passages, 1 Kings 19...when Elijah is on the mountain of God and seeks refuge in a cave. The Lord calls him out of his shelter and tells him to stand out on the mountain before Him, so that He can pass by. But God's presence wasn't in the crushing wind that blew by him, or the earthquake that subsequently erupted, or even the fire that materialized before Elijah's eyes. God's presence wasn't in any of those events of such grand a scale; He was found in the whisper. I think many of us look for God's plan for our next move to be flashy and in our faces, but we (me especially) don't realize that if He shouted directions at us, would He be the same God that is as worthy and demanding of our obedience and praise, as well as patience, and willingness to sit in silence, free of every distraction so that He is the only one demanding our attention? I personally don't think so...and that is why I am completely in awe of His ability to humble me only minutes after selfishly being confused and frustrated with Him for not answering my questions at the exact moment convenient for me. Another thing I'm starting to realize is that my "am I in Your will?" questions I've been trying to find answers to have also been completely skewed. Through a conversation with a very precious friend of mine, I was brought to a wonderful thought: If I'm falling in love with Christ and chasing after Him every day, of course I'm going to be in His will. Through pure love and obedience, though I will mess up, His grace and mercy will bring me exactly where He wants me. While this is very comforting, I refuse to become complacent. I ask you to please be in prayer for me as I seek the Lord's face while He instills His wisdom, so that I will make the decisions that will result in an awesome summer full of service. I'm sure it will be scary at times, considering the radical obedience I am determined to possess, but I'm ready.

Disciple Now is this weekend for the youth ministry at my church, First Baptist Church Biloxi. The leadership team has been in prayer for this weekend for months, and we couldn't be more excited. Pray that all of us will find an Awakening over the next few days. Pray that we will each be perceptive to the reason each one of us was given the opportunity to attend...my prayer has been that no heart in that room will be left unmoved, unchanged, and without a clear image of His love and power. Needless to say I'm through the roof about it.

This post is way longer than I intended, but most of you I'm sure are probably familiar with my tendencies to ramble a little, so I guess it fits! I plan on posting pretty often, so feel free to check up on me! Love you all!